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“As soon as soup is served the parlor-maid or a footman passes a dish or a basket of dinner rolls. If rolls are not available, bread cut in about two-inch-thick slices, is cut cross-ways again in three… A guest helps himself with his fingers and lays the roll or bread on the tablecloth, always. No bread plates are ever on a table where there is no butter, and no butter is ever served at a dinner.”
- “Filling Glasses”, Chapter 14
In today’s age, the thought of placing ANY food on the tablecloth (Cloth?!?) is a major faux pas – besides, that’s what we have bread plates for! Next time you’re sitting down to dinner, think about how your table-mates would feel if the bread was served without butter – and share this tidbit with them as you break your bread (over your plate)!
“Ladies always wear gloves to formal dinners and take them off at table. Entirely off. It is hideous to leave them on the arm, merely turning back the hands.”
- “Etiquette of Gloves and Napkin”, Chapter 14
I don’t think we even need to say anything about this. When was the last time you wore a pair of evening gloves?
“Pickle jars, catsup bottles, toothpicks and crackers are not private-house table ornaments… pickles and tomato sauces and other cold meat condiments are never presented at table in a bottle, but are put in glass dishes with small serving spoons. Nothing is ever served from the jar or bottle it comes in…”
- “Don’ts in Table Setting!”, Chapter 14
In Emily Post’s time, a family barbecue would more likely consist of a game of croquet than Dad flipping burgers by the grill, and any condiments required would be expertly included in the dish by the family’s personal chef. The prospect of a personal family chef is enough to make most of us guffaw, but when it comes to condiments, today’s dinner etiquette is a lot less stringent – but this rule survives when dining at a fine restaurant; asking for condiments is still considered an insult to the chef!
“The turning of the table is accomplished by the hostess, who merely turns from the gentleman (on her left probably) with whom she has been talking through the soup and the fish course, to the one on her right. As she turns, the lady to whom the “right” gentleman has been talking, turns to the gentleman further on, and in a moment everyone at table is talking to a new neighbor.”
- “The Turning of the Table”, Chapter 14
How ridiculous is the idea that you must speak to only those to your left and right, and in a specific order when having dinner?!?
“In the drawing-room, meanwhile, the ladies are having coffee, cigarettes, and liqueurs passed to them. There is not a modern New York hostess, scarcely even an old-fashioned one, who does not have cigarettes passed after dinner.”
- “Leaving the Table”, Chapter 14
While smoking was fashionable in the early 20th century, this practice is beyond outdated – it’s socially repugnant! Of course there are still smokers out there, but to offer a cigarette to a non-smoker in today’s age is a major offense. You’re also not likely to find many homes where smoking inside (after dinner or otherwise) is still acceptable!
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